I pray to god that Kerry and his advisers don't think we need another asshole to participate in the Politics of Fear campaign.

Kerry needs to do two things in the first debate: first, end once and for all the flip flop label. Think Ronald Reagan responding to the issue of his advanced age. Without a hint of irony, his "I won't hold my opponent's youth and inexperience against you" to Mondale was the right line at the right time. Kerry needs to as simply as possible make clear that people who think about issues and pay attention to changing events often need to rethink their position. He shouldn't be afraid of it - but he can't get bogged down in detail either. Keep it light, keep it clear and shut them all up on the flip flop issue.

And second, he should make Bush II apologize for Cheney's remark about "the wrong choice" leading to another terrorist attack on our soil. We shouldn't be thinking of attacks only on this soil - the beheading of any American citizen is a terrorist attack -- and it's being done on Bush II's watch. And to manipulate and capitalize on people's greatest fear is a symptom of true evil. He should be as forceful and outraged as...I am. Without raising his voice, without losing control. Show them who the grownups are and let America know amateur hour in Washington is over.

Well, at least it's a start.

Good gawd where does the time go? I've been having some pretty awful days lately - it's getting harder to stop crying, not easier. And the strange, unexpected ways I'm hit with reality are starting to get to me.

Sunday night I had two couples over - good friends to both me and Kevin. I actually turned on the gas grill myself and cooked up the burgers - which was always Kevin's domain. All went well and the evening was very relaxing. We finished dinner and had dessert - watermelon and ice cream. I told everyone to just dump everything in the sink; I'd take care of it when they left. But there was no room left for the ice cream dishes so I decided to put them straight into the dishwasher.

I rinsed the first two bowls and realized one was missing. I recounted in my head what ice cream everyone at the table had. And I even called out to ask if anyone had left their bowl on the table. It was only when my friends yelled out "no" that I realized I was looking for six bowls -- not five -- as if Kevin was with us. It was just heartbreaking as soon as I realized what I was doing -- and even more heartbreaking to know that I'll probably being doing that sort of thing for a long time. And the most heartbreaking day of all will be the day that I don't.

Cat Stevens is denied entry to the United States for one reason only: he's Muslim. Lots of outrage to go around on this one.

And as the third beheading this week is likely to occur any moment, why doesn't the press ask Mr. Cheney (who warned Americans not to make the wrong choice or they'd suffer another terrorist attack) about the occurrence of such terrorist acts while he and Bush II are on the throne. We don't have to be victims of terrorism on our home soil to be scarred and terrified by such acts. The families affected could be any one of ours -- so are they saying it's only terrorism if a lot of people die? The beheadings continue because Bush II is in office and at almost every turn he triple dog dares terrorists to act. The whole thing is beyond sickening. (Now don't get me wrong - I don't know that Kerry would be able to stop such acts; I just know that it's sick to hypothesize about potential terrorists strikes when they're happening right in front of us. Bush and Cheney should be fired for that outrage alone.)

And just for fun, read the transcript of today's White House press conference with the Iraqi prime minister. The transition from the written word to the free-form Q & A is astounding. I wonder what they'd say to every parent or spouse or child of those already killed in Irag - American and Iraqi. Oh yeah - they'd never have to see them. It's just as easy to arrest and investigate them nowadays.

I think CBS should just get out of the news business altogether. This goes beyond sloppy journalism. And I'm not talking about bias. News isn't about truth - it's about ratings. That's the reality today. Fundamental change is needed at all the networks.

So the question now becomes who forged those goddamned documents in the first place. The White House has already implicated the Kerry campaign. The saddest thing about it all is that the fake documents don't change the truth about Bush II's pitiful National Guard Service. Most of that's been documented already - so why was this necessary? Who out there thinks that people of privilege getting preferential treatment is news? It happens so often it's news when they DON'T, not when they DO.

A dear friend of my sent me this picture -- and he's sure it's a relative of mine. All of my protestations to the contrary did little good. He's sure there's a genetic link somehow. He's probably right. He usually is. (thanks PM)

It's perfect in and of itself -- but I laughed harder than I have in months. And for that I am forever in your debt, my friend.

I'm two days late posting this but better late than never is my new motto. Really it's an old motto for me, just has greater meaning nowadays. But I digress.

Newsday's Paul Vitello has sent a well-written inquiry to the Kerry campaign, asking "Where's Your Outrage?" I'm starting to wonder myself. Someone should tell them to check outrage.com every now and again. It might help. I know it helps me.

A judge has again ordered Nader off Florida's ballot. He should drop out: he's not running a legitimate campaign and is funded more by Republicans than by anyone else. It would be a joke if the outcome wasn't so serious. And if he siphons enough votes from Kerry to return Bush II to the White House, it's criminal, in my humble opinion.

Kevin would have turned 45 today. Whenever I asked him what he wanted for his birthday (or Christmas for that matter) he'd always say the same thing: "what do I want? Peace and quiet." I told him I'd buy him a lily and earplugs. Never did.

For the 18 years we were together, he never wanted a fuss made about his birthday. Which I could accept. Even though in my family it's considered a "birthweek," not a birthday. So we only ran into problems when he didn't make a big fuss about my birthday. Which wasn't often. The hardest thing about today? The reminder that someday I will be older than he was. Have decided to file this under: Not Supposed to Happen This Way.

I need a whole new word for how I feel about the irresponsibility of Congress when it comes to the Ban on Assault Weapons that's now expired. Outrage doesn't quite cover it.

I'm voting for John Kerry -- AND against Bush II. If the first term was spent flushing our international relationships down the toilet, we can bet that the second terms will focus on domestic flushing.

Now if voting against Bush II in November 2004 will lead to a terrorist attack, as Dick C contends, then it's not such a stretch to think that the state that gave Bush II the election in November 2000 would be subject to back-to-back-to-back hurricanes just before the next election. It could happen.
Bad luck? No way. Somebody's trying to wake them up this time. Might as well be Mother Nature. Really if you listen closely enough -- and long enough -- to the hurricane winds you can hear her say "don't vote for Nader this time."

Kevin just referred to him as "geek boy" but he always rooted for him to win. I on the other hand was rooting for the other two contestants on Jeopardy, hoping someone would beat him. When the season ended in June, we were both disappopinted that we'd have to wait until next season, which is now upon us. Since the loss hasn't been verified, guess we'll just have to wait until the last week of October. Fact is, I haven't watched Jeopardy without Kevin. Lots of stuff I can't seem to bring myself to do without Kevin.

The federal deficit fiasco is reason enough to send Bush II back to Texas. Add the National Guard travesty and I'm flabbergasted this is even a contest. The man in the White House blows more than a billion dollar surplus, allows a full frontal attack on a man who actually served in Vietnam while he skipped out and his second-in-command, and in a new low in American politics, Dick Cheney said that terrorists will strike if people vote for John Kerry. Outrageous and shameful, according to Kerry. I couldn't agree more.

Now the New York Times may have a point about verbal minefields. John Kerry should not refer to himself as "confused," even if it is over what to have for dinner. But to put that in the same league as Bush II's idiotic message concerning gynecologist's practicing their..."LOVE"...I just have to draw the line. I can relate to Kerry's indecisiveness at mealtime -- but it's not an issue when you live in the White House. The menu is planned, pretty far in advance as I understand it.

But Bush's quote reveals something so perverse -- about women as well as the medical profession -- that I'm at a loss for words - almost. I keep shaking my head and asking myself how in god's name this election is even a contest. American's don't particularly like intellectuals; but they have even less tolerance for morons. At least that's what I've always believed. I guess I'll found out in November.

How could I pass up this headline: Intelligence Changes Stymied by Turf Wars. Turf wars in Washington is big news, huh? And I'm not sure the word intelligence belongs anywhere near this story.

I haven't felt much outrage lately. Just a growing sadness as the days tick by without Kevin. Sometimes I laugh when I think of him -- but right now it's still mostly crying.

Is it just me or is this cardiac surgeon just a little too glib for comfort? I'm biased, I know. Maybe it's a New York thing.